Montessori, Waldorf and more: a pot of ideas
The learning of motherhood never ends for me. And of late it has been a melting pot of ideas, simmering and eaten in experimental moments. I was immersed in Montessori and currently I have been researching Waldorf education. I just finished a book about parenting, all about dropping that term altogether. And I find myself alone with two little ones, deep in the forest, for three weeks. So this melting pot is getting eaten up.
These are the bits we have liked the best so far. If it made it to this list then the idea worked both children and I.
Put the activity in a tray:
Montessori is very structured. There is a precise method, specific material and exact way of doing it. However I deviate, not in disrespect, but to innovate and make useful for our family. I do not think any method lasts unless it is open to adaption. Structure is essential, it makes safe, clarifies space and keeps me sane. And one of the things I use alot from Montessori is trays. It is a very simple, cheap and brilliant hack. Montessori method lays out specific material for a project on trays, placing it in access of the child. The method color codes activities by trays and uses this as a way to organise the work space. I cull content from the Montessori curriculum I have, picking out what fits our context, and place the idea I have in a tray. The tray makes the idea into a project, and Ruya understands that. It also gives the project a holding space to be messy in, without overtaking the house. I have four trays and I empty them most evenings and refill one or two. Because we move a lot our play space changes, so the trays let me put out activities in any room that suits it. This morning Ruya's orange tray had scratch paper in it, and her wooden tool to mark it. Tomorrow it will contain some paper animal mask material, scissors and glue. Currently I am traying projects like collage of continents, putting objects with letters, counting buttons and identifying numbers. Some days Ruya loves her tray and some days she pushes it aside. It is her call.
Pretend, imagine and tell a story:
Waldorf opposes Montessori in its focus on imagination and the unreal worlds. Montessori greatly encourages using stuff that resembles the real world. Waldorf takes the real world and encourages the deepest fantasy of it. Since I like fairies this appeals to me. The foundation of this unreal world is the stuff of myths and nature - mermaids, unicorns, gods and goddesses. It is the telling of stories through imagination, and we do this all day. Ruya thrives in this world, her characters live her and she lives them. She often asks me to talk to a doll, not her, or talk through a doll. And we converse all day like this, playing climbing games, going to the grocery store, talking about death and the routine of saying nice to meet you. Drama is alive and as fantastical as she wants it to be. I used to try and make our play 'real', thinking it was my job to teach my kids what real is. And then I learned that they know the difference, more so than me (check out 'The gardener and the carpenter' by Alison Gopnik). Now inspired by this and Waldorf methodology, I let their imagination fly and I try to follow.
Material matters and natural is better:
Both Montessori and Waldorf prescribe natural materials. Montessori uses wood and glass, and child size stuff that mirrors the adult world of objects. Waldorf brings in the sensuality of silk and nature objects - a wooden log becomes a boat, a tree, a fort. Both systems say less is more. Montessori ensures the material keeps to its focus, so their work material is made specifically for a purpose. That is useful sometimes, it controls for error. When I want to offer a project with a specific content and focus that is what I strive to use. Waldorf is all about open ended stuff, so you can change it and imagine differently. The beauty of nature is it provides this material inherently, so in my opinion natural surroundings trump any toy. Since we move alot we rotate stuff depending on which continent we are in. I pack some material but space is always limited, which keeps me in the less is more arena.
Make the environment rich:
The central thesis of Gopnik's book is that the task of being a parent is to provide rich and fertile soil, knowing that you cannot truly control how the plant will grow or the form it will take. You can set it up with all it may need and more, protect and offer influences. But the plant is going to do its unruly thing and so will the child. I realised that my job is really about caring, and part of this nurturance is making the environment my children are in as rich as possible. It is not my job to shape my children, but rather to let their shape blossom. This goes against current and very persuasive ideas about parenting and making children school ready and test score successful. Being nomadic means our spaces change so we automatically get to explore new contexts, enriching our soil of experience. Along the way I try to offer stuff that fits with where we are. Since being in the forest house I got Ruya some books on insects and birds, a set of small fairies, a magnifying glass, binoculars and a set of toy bugs. They both have a sturdy bucket, proper little spades and we hit the beach anytime the sun is out. Nature is our muse here. Every day Ruya picks out a picture of the weather for that day - little scraps of paper hand drawn by me with sunny, rainy, partly cloudy and cloudy - and sticks it on her calendar. The calendar also has a stick figure of daddy on the day he left and the day he is coming back. I try to use what is happening to us and teach that, because that respects the soil she is in.
Play, and play more:
The work of children is to play and explore. Not learn letters or hit benchmarks. Yes I strive to offer content that covers skills she will need in the world, like reading and counting. But I have realised that play is the most important thing my children can do. And she can learn numbers and letters in a playful way. I am very driven so I have pushed to try and parent the right way. And because I am home with them - no preschool - I have had an anxiety about making sure I am teaching them what they are supposed to be learning. Now I know that shaping them that way is destructive and narrow. It focuses on success in current school systems, which are seriously outdated and serve society less and less. My intention is good though and it can go into making our life a play scape, so we can play with brooms and fairies, laundry folding and dollies, counting bugs and buying food. My children play very well, it is me that has to learn how to play again. But this does not mean just leaving them to their own devices. Guided play is powerful. I am learning to not direct or tell them how it works, but guide an action through playing along side them, or throwing in a verbal idea. If we play grocery store I suggest stuff to buy or pretend to be the person at the till. I try to follow what they are already doing and add some fertilizer to catalyse their thinking. My biggest challenge in letting play happen is allowing for the mess, because play is at its best when messy. I am overly clean but Ruya reminds me that they are playing and to just leave them alone.
Rough and tumble and get active:
Everything I have researched shows the first six years as primarily active. Children learn from doing, with their body engaged. Montessori method is founded on all learning involving the hands so you touch letters, you lay out number rods, you sweep with a little broom. Waldorf has three key components which are action, feeling and intention. And the early years are seen as mostly active. Play like rough and tumble is as instinctual as it gets. And rowdy is good. I have to catch myself asking Ruya to be gentle with Aziz as they rough and tumble. Actually I should step in only if it gets really dangerous. They are learning profound social skills and their own sense of boundries. Getting down on the floor with them keeps me moving along side them. Especially in the afternoon I try to get outdoors into nature or a playground. And if we are at home we do stuff like sweeping, pouring and running.
As this melting pot of ideas gets fed and tested I am the one growing the most. I take heart knowing that as much as I think I am not doing a good enough job, which my daily internal criticism tells me, I am actually not going to fuck them up. I can't. Because the fire under this pot, the most crucial element, is my devoted love. If they get that they are going to be just fine. And that I have, in plenty, and without needing anyone to teach me how.
