Finding the Sweet Spot

Locating the place that makes your heart sing and where your being comes to rest, otherwise known as home, is no easy matter. Finding the place that makes you happy, is both an exploration into what makes you happy and an adventure in discovering the geography that matches.

'The Geography of Bliss' by Eric Weiner (witty read, well recommended), suggests that money matters, but not as much as we think it does or in the way we think it does - Qatar is the wealthiest place on the planet and not the happiest, Bhutan often tops the happy place list; that the toxicity of envy kills community which throttles joy; optional is beaches and warm weather (colder countries are happier), not optional is relationship, real relationship - be it with family or friends - trust and gratitude. And excessive thinking isn't conducive to bliss, but a full embracing of failure is (look to Thailand and Iceland).

Happiness Indexes are in vogue generating lists of the worlds happiest places. Not so apparent is the way this is all getting measured, since happiness is not a quantity, it requires some depth to plough and get a handle on. Depending on the index used Denmark may trump or Costa Rica (the difference I noticed was the inclusion of environmental footprint in the latter win). None the less these quotients give some map, and what is interesting is the winners are not usually the countries or places we think would yield joy. I think this is because standards of what makes us happy are usually muddled with cultural assumptions and conditioning about what should make us happy. Neurologically what we want and what we like are different parts of the brain and don't always get along. Also, altruism is one of the most ancient brain systems, not just an ideal but a palpable translator to joy - service professionals score way higher than we imagine. We get happier when we are exposed to dirt (both the stuff of this earth and the grit of life), we do not get happier when we win a lottery ticket.

But ultimately it is not just a systemic issue, it is personal, and in that bridge is your happiness index. What is clear and most self help books fail to get this, is that context, geography, place is as important in our happiness as societal markers and internal workings. Space changes psyche, change your place and you shift your experience, and certain points on a map resonate more than others. Success is as much to do with where you were born and the time you were born into, as personal drive (see Malcolm Gladwell's 'Outliers'). Personally I think this much underestimated linkage between place and psyche deserves more attention, but then I am primed by a restlessness. I was born restless and have always been acutely sensitive to how a space, place, shape of a building makes me feel.

Going nomad means in some way finding that sweet spot. It is a hunt. Not just externally but internally. You cannot separate out where the place you are in ends and your psyche begins. And if you think you can it is just an illusion of skin, porous.

Going nomad does not mean never settling, even nomads need home, it is just that home means something else, sometimes.

I am not sure if nomadicism means happiness. Research suggests that the most happy people are ones ensconced in places that allow for a culture that promotes bliss and has history. In other words, being rooted is necessary. I doubt if nomadicism makes me any more free, since it has its own limitations. I do know that going nomad is something you are, not just what you do, and you either tend to that or not. Since my tendency is to go there, finding the sweet spot is of particular interest to me, hence this blog and whatever comes from the adventure.