Traveling with a Six Month Visa Violator: Turkey

Traveling always confronts me with what I cannot control. Traveling with a baby makes that experience scary sometimes. Recently this became vivid. Packed up, checked in and my mother over the passport line, I got stopped in my tracks on my way to Greece. The Turkish passport official informed me that I needed a visa for my baby. I had extended my visa and got residency in Turkey for six months. But the visa office in town told me I did not need a visa for my baby, she would be on my passport. Apparently that office does not speak to the airport officials. In Turkey each part in the system seems to have its own camp.
Either way the rule was the rule where I stood on the passport line.

I was confronted by a fierce official who strongly informed me if I left I could not come back. I had planned to return in two weeks to be with my partner and travel together back to the US. That plan included packing up our nest there and organising us to make the next tansition. Now I was confronted with a decision: do I just go and see what happens, or do I stay and lose my trip to Greece?

Those kind of intense decisions always amaze me. A moment, you have to decide then and there, the pressure on and escalating. I went to the visa violation office - a throng of people by my side, apparently visa violation is a business in Turkey. They were polite and gentler and let me use their personal phone to call someone, though I could not reach my partner. The rule was clear, pay a fine and go but no coming back for three months. Or stay. I had very little money beyond my planned two week trip, no-one to talk to and a starving, tired baby in my arms. I managed to get back to my mother and close enough to talk to her. We decided to abort. That meant two hours of her getting through offices to cancel her passport stamp so she could meet me. While I haggled to get our baggage off the plane.

Seven hours later and we were back in the Turkey nest.

Three days later we left for Greece again. This time with a bit more savvy.

Once I calmed down and spoke to my partner the decision I had made changed. I do not regret choosing to stay when I did. That was right for then. And it let me make a new decision that has been so right for now.

He said go. We found some money, pulling our resources together so we could make it happen - going meant staying in Greece for nearly a month. We changed flights and linked flights so I could meet him in transit at Istanbul. I spent two intense days packing up our nest, setting up the suitcases he would bring for me, condensing a week's work into the time I had. And we made a plan for how to get our baby across the line with more ease.

First thing I learned is I need a travel agent. We used my mother's and especially in situations like this, a travel agent makes everything so much easier for very little extra expense. I reaffirmed the learning of how I will avoid Priceline airline booking's - you cannot change it and you cannot add an infant. The tickets got booked and we added a four day stay in Athens to break up the return journey.

Second thing I learned, and am still learning, is to travel with my baby using only a carry on. I could not check in my luggage the whole way, or get it in Istanbul without going through passport. My partner simply solved this conundrum by suggesting I do not take luggage. One month, with a baby, just a carry on. A challenge that immediately excited me. I am now a week into being in Greece and my carry on has worked sublimely. It meant buying a few things once here like diapers, some cosmetics, a jacket and another pair of shoes for Ruya. I am renting places with washing machines which makes this much easier. My mother packed four changes of clothes for Ruya. Other than that I took everything. I made my two cashmere scarves serve as baby blankets too. A pair of jeans last three days. Leggings and lightweight tops (metallica is a great brand for this), smart wool socks, lace underwear (it dries fast), patagonia jacket, a silk dress and one jersey. I carry a moisturizer, cleanser, hard core sunblock, lavender oil, arnica gel and a thermometer. Jewelry, my little sandlewood buddha, and Ruya's treasured ball, wooden car, rattle and Sophie the chewable Giraffe. My yoga mat had to stay so I have been doing my daily practice on a manduka yoga towel. The normal tech gear of ipad, iphone, universal plug and important documents. I have an ergo carrier for her and a small diaper bag. In sum we have what we need to play and survive.

Third thing I learned was to follow my desire and trust what was happening to me. I wanted to go. I needed to let go and just do it. The situation was offering me that and more. Now I could go for a month.

Fourth thing I learned was that as much as systems in Turkey may not always seem to work, that also can greatly work in your favor. My partner came with us to the airport the second time. He facilitated the entire thing and it was seamless. Because of a university position he holds and his ability to show the officials we had been given wrong information, we were treated much more cordially, the fine was lowered and we got through easily. My little visa transgressor got over the line and we got a legend of a story from the experience.

So now my daughter of almost seven months has four country stamps. Where she goes I go.