Traveling with a Young Toddler
Each phase brings with it different travel strategies. Toddlerhood is all about being on the go and snacks. That means you have to provide for those needs when traveling.
On the plane:
Generally long haul flights are overnight which means you can let your toddler sleep. I have experimented with using a bassinet and having Ruya on my lap, and my preference thus far is on my lap. Bassinets are useful but I often don’t get one and Ruya does not like them. They are small and not made for a toddlers body. Ruya is happier curled up on me and even though its tougher on my arms, it makes her sleep more. If you don’t have a bassinet and are traveling alone try to get a seat next to you. Plane seats do not contain a toddlers body no matter how hard you try. Generally flight attendants try to facilitate this for everyone’s sanity on board. For long haul flights, if you are on your own, get an aisle seat. You need to get in and out easily. Ruya ends up sleeping much better with me close by and it is never an issue getting her to sleep. I still breastfeed and that helps greatly. It means I can soothe and hydrate her.
I don't take many toys on board. Usually it is just a book and then we make do with what we have around us. When she gets really ansy we walk along the aisles and visit people. Ruya always makes friends along the way and that ends up being very entertaining.
Depending on the flight departure time I make sure to get in as much of a normal day before as I can, with plenty of run around time outdoors. That means we hit the airport with a full day behind us and she is ready to sleep. I start packing about two days before so I can focus on Ruya the day of travel.
Food is essential. Toddlerhood means suddenly your carry on luggage has to have space for snacks (as opposed to bottles or nothing if you breastfeed). I bring a lot of food on board. It is better, tastier and what she does not eat I get to munch on, which is good for me. Good ideas for food include roasted sweet potato, tofu cubed up, steamed carrots and peas, small cheese pieces (for the initial few hours), crackers and fruit. Blueberries are great and not messy, and I often bring on a banana - even though it takes effort to protect its well worth it because Ruya loves her banana. Basically think small bites and non mess.
Drink tons of water. Especially if you are breastfeeding, which I do and tend to do a lot more on board. It means more toilet stops which is tricky when alone and carrying an asleep baby, but the hydration is worth it. I take a hydro flask on board for multiple refills. Every time I go to the toilet I fill up my flask. It becomes a ritual that keeps us healthy and sane.
Jet lag:
No way around except to embrace this travel phenomenon. I have learned to be more relaxed about it and not push my child or I to adapt too quickly. It happens in time naturally. The best medicine is sunlight, so get into it every day for a few hours. When Ruya wakes up in the early hours of the morning I get up with her, make some tea and read her books. I try to find activities that are relaxed. She usually goes back to bed within two hours. I let her nap whenever she needs to in the day for the first few days. Slowly we transition back into a schedule. I have learned that the framework of the schedule remains, it is just the clock time that changes. At fifteen months she tends to do an eleven hour stretch at night (with one or two feeds), and one nap in the day of about an hour. Before we hit the most recent big jet lag, she tended to go down at 6pm and wake at 6am or earlier. After our shift she was going down at 10 at night and waking at 9 the next morning. Each day we adapted by an hour, so Ruya would move from going to sleep at 10 to bedtime being at 9 and so on. Eventually she transitioned into a new schedule. The easiest way to navigate jet lag is keep the structure of your schedule, but let go of fitting that structure into your usual clock times.
Jet lag forces me to let go of a rigid routine, which I can fall into if we are somewhere for three months. And when I don’t fight it and just let go a little, I enjoy how jet lag changes our schedule into something new. We get to experience stuff together at hours when she is usually asleep. And sometimes it awakens me to a schedule I might prefer. For instance when we recently shifted to Istanbul from California, I discovered I quite liked sharing dinner with her and her going to bed at around 7pm instead of 6pm. It meant she slept in until 6:30am and I could stay up a bit later. Jet lag also facilitates shifts in schedule if they are already emerging, like a movement from 12 hours sleep at night to 11, or dropping a nap.
What to pack:
Always pack less than you think you need. On board you need food, diapers, wipes, diaper bags, something warm and an extra change of tops for both of you. Some flight carriers don’t provide blankets, and the ones they do are barely warm, so bring a pashmina, blanket and/or scarf. I pack a long pashmina scarf that keeps us both very cosy. Socks and a long sleeve warm top are a must. No matter what weather you hit, the flight can be cold. I always bring a book on board - Ruya loves books and they are a stationary play item. Lip balm and some lavender oil makes you feel pampered, and if you want a natural sleep aid for your child passiflora is great.
Travel bibs really help on the plane and for daily travel excursions. They keep your baby clean and are easily disposable. This is not an essential item for me though so when they are not on hand I just use my washable bibs. Washable bibs with a pocket are indispensable for me. I have two and rotate them through the day. Mine require hand washing with a bit of soap and a few hours to dry.
I take a carry on suitcase on board, my ergo carrier and a small backpack. The backpack has the stuff I need for the plane trip so I don't need to access anything from the overhead bins.
We don't have many clothes or stuff so packing is generally a process of taking what we have, depending on the time period we are at a place. For a week to ten day trips we don't check in any luggage. I leave my cotton diapers behind and buy diapers and wipes when I arrive. I pack clothes, two pairs of shoes each, cosmetics, an iPad, iPhone, travel plug and a book or two for Ruya. I leave toys behind for short trips because they end up being unnecessary. Two pairs of shoes is useful as a back up especially for Ruya who tends to get her shoes muddy and wet.
For longer stints I check in two suitcases and take my cotton diapers with me. More clothes, non essential nice stuff and a few toys are added to the usual mix.
When packing clothes I take layers for weather changes and avoid bulky stuff. I usually book places that have a washing machine, or I hand wash.
Traveling with a toddler brings in the gorgeous dynamic of sharing restaurant experiences, galleries, exploring markets and walking together in parks. It is physically demanding and there are tough moments. There are emotional melt downs on the flight or at a museum. I learn to just stay calm and embrace it. Not get worried about everyone around me. It is so normal and appropriate for toddlers to voice their feelings and learn how to express. Sometimes I think people's negative reactions say more about their fear of expressing feelings loudly and maybe their desire to do so. And when I get frazzled I remember that this is normal too and happens wherever you are or live. Being nomad is normal life, it is just the scenery that changes.
