Jet lag with children: how we reset
Traveling begets some necessary not so nice stuff. This includes long haul flights and jet lag. Doing it with children makes jet lag harder and something you have to plan for. It's easier to push through as an adult, drink coffee, force yourself awake and just reset that way. For children I think only three things work: sunlight, time and strategy.
Sunlight
This is the best tonic. When we deal with jet lag in a place that is deep in winter, I find it takes longer and is harder to reset. The potency of putting children into sunlight is amazing. So grab the days that have sun and get them into it, their skin basking in it, especially at its zenith.
Time
It takes time, no way around it, so plan for it. The first three days are the hardest. Expect your child to get up at night and play. Expect that and play with them. Strategy can shorten the time it takes but it always takes a full two weeks to completely reset. The first week is very disrupted. The second week is less so but it's still present. I don't do big time changes unless I am going to stay in the time zone for a few months. It's not worth it otherwise.
Strategy
Over many flights I have a kind of strategy. It gets adjusted as my children shift ages, and going from one to two children in the equation.
The first core unit of it is to keep lights low at night. I keep them as low as possible, but enough to be able to play and read. Light is everything and really helps to keep the idea in the child's mind that it's night time.
I let my children get up and play, and I do it with them, for the first three nights or so. I drink tea and try to relax, see it as our normal play time except it's night time. I give them snacks that are soft on their bellies, like banana and oats. When I see some tiredness emerge I slow things down and then we get into bed for some sleep. After a few nights though I stop getting up. That's the crucial balance act of this, you have to discern when to end night play. For me this happens about the fourth night, when I can keep my kids in bed. For my baby this means loads of breastfeeding, cuddles and putting him back into a sleeping position. For my little girl I cuddle her and tell her no, it's night time, stay in bed. Sometimes she has a little cry quietly about that in my arms. I hold her close and just wait till the sleep comes. Once my children do one night of staying in bed I know we have turned a corner. Expect the next few nights to be wakeful though. I just keep with my rule of no getting out of bed until morning, and they fall back asleep.
I try to run my day as normally as possible and immediately adjust the meal times in our new place. The cues of breakfast and dinner in time with our new zone really helps to reset our bodies. I keep nap time as close to its normal length as possible, and wake then up if needed. They usually want to sleep more initially and I let that happen, but never go beyond three hours.
I try to make my children sleep at the same times. Otherwise I am awake all hours. So the work is to sometimes push a child to sleep or stay awake, within reason.
As for mama, I don't do coffee but I do rest with my children. It is very enticing to try stay awake and do stuff when they sleep, but I make sure to rest in bed with them even if I am lying awake. This lets me keep pace with their needs and energy.
Jet lag always makes me aware of the strangeness of time, and how essential day and night are, but arbitrary clock time is. Its a perfect moment to teach about time. For my little ones I focus on sun rise and sun set, and sing songs about that. Ruya can now identify she is jet lagged and that it happens after a long flight. As they get older more detail can come.
Jet lag inevitably shows me the power of body time. How wise and astounding our bodies are in their natural rhythm. Flying through time zones is an alien thing to do to a body. Yet we reset so rapidly. Each time I live this experience I stand back in respect for this flesh that is my ultimate home.